Video: Medlock receiving award for Open!

It has come to our attention that some people suffered hallucinations in the evening at DERT 2015 and seem to think that we made a slight mistake during the Awards ceremony, giving the award for the Open Category to the wrong team.

This is not true, as the attached video evidence below clearly proves.

Last post from DERT 2015 before we handover to Medlock for DERT 2016. DERT 2015 merchandise shop closes 7pm today.

Aye. It’s a final web post, with gratuitous Robson Kingsman.

Robson KingmanThe Shop closes at 7pm today (Thursday), last chance for anything DERT 2015 related before you have to scour junk shops and eBay in several years time. Why save yourself the bother and order something bright and shiny today? not just a badge, there’s t-shirts, posters and DVDs for sale too.

All orders come with a FREE badge and programme whilst stocks last.

If you haven’t received your items yet, don’t fret pet, everything’s either on order or on it’s way to you.

We’ll be archiving this website at the end of the year, so you can still see the results of Martin’s febrile and occasionally humorous imagination, and the sheer outpouring of material leading up to the event.

We think we did Northgate and Bristol proud, and you guys did us at DERT 2015 proud. It’s all very well saying “great job Ed and Mart”, but if you buggers don’t turn up and dance and play your little hearts out, then we both would have been very lonely on the stage at St. George’s.

Thanks ever so for your enthusiasm, good humour and your inputs into the event; whether you were a dancer, musician, general ligger, a DERT lush volunteer, pub landlord, event supplier or event host, we loved most of it. Apart from Martin’s bronchitis that is, and Edwin losing his Kindle/laptop/video camera for 36 hours.

You’ll be pleased to know Edwin has said electronic equipment back, and after the second lot of antibiotics, Martin is sounding less like Eartha Kitt and more like he should. When we actually listen to him that is.

We’l be handing over control of the Facebook page etc to the winners of the Open Category (ahem – that’s Medlock, not Stone Monkey Silverbacks) this weekend, so after that you’ll need to find Edwin and Martin on Facebook. “whaddya mean we’re not friends already?” pshaw.

Thanks guys, over and out.

Edwin and Martin, for Northgate Rapper.

PS – the DERT 2016 website is already up and running, funky video intro!


The DERT 2015 merchandise shop has re-opened pop-up stylee. For 1 week only. Bonus gifts available, come look within. Whilst stocks last.

DERT final posterAlthough we were as careful as we could be in ordering stock for the DERT 2015 Shop, there are certain items now available for sale in the Shop. For seven days only.

Yes, the DERT 2015 Shop has posters, both types of t-shirt and badges for sale. Along with advance orders of the DERT 2015 DVD.

All orders of t-shirts, posters and DVDs will attract a bonus gift of a programme and a badge. Whilst stocks last. This is to offset the cost of postage now no-ones in Bristol to pick up their merch.

So if you missed out at the event, never fear. You can now shop until 7pm 23rd April 2015.

Why delay when you can shop today! CLICK HERE for the Shop

After a bath, a brew and a nap; here are the RESULTS of DERT 2015 in Bristol. Thanks to all who took part.

Golden envelopeAnd so it’s over for another year. The dances have been danced and judged, prizes have been awarded (one way or another ahem) and all anyone wants to know now is… where did they come relative to everyone else?

Well, the winners know, of course, but we couldn’t leave it at that.

So, here are some long lists of where people came in various categories. We’ll put the lists somewhere better in the longer term, but we thought we’d get them out quickly.

And so:

Premier   Championship   Open
Kingsmen Silver Flame Medlock Rapper
Sheffield Steel Whip the Cat Championship Jockey Men’s Morris Club
Star and Shadow – Egypt Cottage Tower Ravens Durham University Rapper
Whip the Cat Premier Mabel Gubbins NYFTE
Sallyport Sword Dancers Star and Shadow – Kings Manor RX Sword
Black Swan Rapper Pocketflyers Heage Windmillers
Thrales Rapper Mons Meg Locksided Rapper
Gaorsach Rapper Crook Morris The Wardrobe Outlaws
Stone Monkey Stone Monkey Silverbacks Scally Rapper
Warwick Rapper Maltby Phoenix Sword
Steve Marris (including Character)   Tyzack (buzz factor)   Spotlight
Kingsmen Kingsmen Thrales Rapper
Sallyport Sword Dancers Gaorsach Rapper Kingsmen
Sheffield Steel Black Swan Rapper Silver Flame
Star and Shadow – Egypt Cottage Thrales Rapper Sheffield Steel
Whip the Cat Premier Silver Flame Star and Shadow – Egypt Cottage
Thrales Rapper Sheffield Steel Star and Shadow – Kings Manor
Black Swan Rapper Whip the Cat Premier Sallyport Sword Dancers
Silver Flame Sallyport Sword Dancers Stone Monkey
Whip the Cat Championship Tower Ravens Medlock Rapper
Medlock Rapper Star and Shadow – Egypt Cottage Whip the Cat Championship
Tower Ravens Stone Monkey Mabel Gubbins
Mabel Gubbins Whip the Cat Championship Mons Meg
Stone Monkey Medlock Rapper Crook Morris
Gaorsach Rapper Mabel Gubbins Heage Windmillers
Star and Shadow – Kings Manor Mons Meg Tower Ravens
Mons Meg Stone Monkey Silverbacks Whip the Cat Premier
Pocketflyers Star and Shadow – Kings Manor NYFTE
Crook Morris Pocketflyers Stone Monkey Silverbacks
Stone Monkey Silverbacks Crook Morris Maltby Phoenix Sword
Jockey Men’s Morris Club NYFTE Pocketflyers
Durham University Rapper Heage Windmillers The Wardrobe Outlaws
NYFTE Durham University Rapper Gaorsach Rapper
Warwick Rapper Warwick Rapper Warwick Rapper
Heage Windmillers RX Sword Locksided Rapper
RX Sword The Wardrobe Outlaws RX Sword
Scally Rapper Maltby Phoenix Sword Jockey Men’s Morris Club
Maltby Phoenix Sword Scally Rapper Scally Rapper
The Wardrobe Outlaws Jockey Men’s Morris Club Durham University Rapper
Locksided Rapper Locksided Rapper Locksided Rapper
Music   Everyone in order   Character only
Kingsmen Kingsmen Sallyport Sword Dancers
Stone Monkey Sheffield Steel Kingsmen
Black Swan Rapper Star and Shadow – Egypt Cottage Thrales Rapper
Star and Shadow – Egypt Cottage Whip the Cat Premier Whip the Cat Premier
Whip the Cat Premier Sallyport Sword Dancers Star and Shadow – Egypt Cottage
Silver Flame Black Swan Rapper Mabel Gubbins
Sheffield Steel Thrales Rapper Silver Flame
Mons Meg Silver Flame Tower Ravens
Gaorsach Rapper Gaorsach Rapper Star and Shadow – Kings Manor
Medlock Rapper Whip the Cat Championship Maltby Phoenix Sword
Pocketflyers Medlock Rapper Sheffield Steel
Stone Monkey Silverbacks Stone Monkey Black Swan Rapper
Thrales Rapper Tower Ravens NYFTE
Durham University Rapper Mabel Gubbins Heage Windmillers
The Wardrobe Outlaws Star and Shadow – Kings Manor Whip the Cat Championship
Whip the Cat Championship Pocketflyers Durham University Rapper
Tower Ravens Mons Meg Crook Morris
Sallyport Sword Dancers Crook Morris Medlock Rapper
Mabel Gubbins Stone Monkey Silverbacks Stone Monkey Silverbacks
Warwick Rapper Jockey Men’s Morris Club Scally Rapper
Scally Rapper Durham University Rapper Stone Monkey
Star and Shadow – Kings Manor Warwick Rapper Jockey Men’s Morris Club
Crook Morris RX Sword Warwick Rapper
Jockey Men’s Morris Club Heage Windmillers RX Sword
RX Sword Locksided Rapper The Wardrobe Outlaws
Locksided Rapper The Wardrobe Outlaws Pocketflyers
Maltby Phoenix Sword Scally Rapper Locksided Rapper
Heage Windmillers Maltby Phoenix Sword Gaorsach Rapper

Traditional Competition

  1. Sallyport Sword – Newbiggin, 277
  2. equal Thrales / Thrales, 274
  3. Sallyport Sword – Swalwell, 255
  4. Tower Ravens – Westerhope, 211
  5. Locksided – Swalwell, 194

Best Newcomer


Other Tradition

Crook Morris

Veterans (Adrienne Moss)

Stone Monkey silverbacks

DERTy Youth


DERTy Junior

Heage Windmillers 3

Off-piste Social media Prize

Locksided Rapper

DERT gets top billing on BBC news website!

Yes indeed, the highly trained publicity machine that is Northgate has just achieved a great coup, with a top-placed headline on the BBC’s news website (*). And not just the local section, either, but the main page! Nice.

In other news, excitement is reaching fever pitch at DERT central, with Edwin printing things out and stuffing envelopes like a maniac, while Martin is hiring video cameras and sipping on expensive cocktails. It’s a hard life.


DERT on the BBC!

                                                                            DERT on the BBC

(*) This is a lie.

And now it’s just 1 day to go until DERT 2015 in Bristol. Great article in the Bristol Evening Post! #dert2015

number_one_red_616One day to go. Can’t believe it’s nearly here!

We tried to tot up the hours we’ve spent sorting everything out. And gave up quite quickly. Sod it, we think you’re worth it!

There’s a fab article in today’s Bristol Evening Post, outlining all the pubs, the competition and what rapper is all about.

Read the pdf – Evening Post article or the online version HERE

There doesn’t appear to be much more to say really. We’ve done a lot online via social media and the website, hope it’s been useful for you keeping you up to date. Pubs are sorted, registration packs are done, volunteers are briefed, ale is bought in and prizes are ready. What more do we need?

We’ve both got the day off tomorrow to get everything set up for you. Please keep us up to date with your progress on the planes, trains and automobiles, in particular if you’re delayed etc. But not if you’re just stopping for a pee break.

Edwin – 07790 578605 

Saturday is apparently now going to be warm and cloudy, with a small chance of a shower or too.

Have a safe journey down and we’ll see you in the Broad Plain Boys Club.

Edwin and Martin for Northgate Rapper

PS – If you’re in Bristol tomorrow afternoon pre-DERT and are looking for something to do, why not go and watch NYFTE’s concert in the Colston Hall foyer? You’ll need to be there by 2:15pm and it lasts around 2 hours. Well worth a watch!

Now just 2 days and counting until DERT 2015 in Bristol. Where you need to be and by when.

Contrary to Martin’s Facebook posting yesterday that “I can barely cope with the tension, but poor Edwin is at breaking point”, Edwin had a sound night’s sleep much like a baby. He does have a stress spot though, dagnammit. At the age of 41 too.

number 2Yes, it’s Wednesday 8th April and the celebration of short sword dancing that is DERT 2015 starts on Friday 10th. Therefore we calculate that’s just two days to go until 323 dancers, musicians and general liggers that would go to the opening of an envelope, descend upon the South West’s premier city. Travelodges are full up and even Toad Hall has judges and dancers booked.

Teams are arriving by plane, train and automobile, in fact we’re almost expecting Steve Martin and John Candy (from beyond the grave) to be taking part in DERT 2015.

So here’s your rough schedule for the weekend;

Friday from 6 ish – Broad Plain Boys Club for registration, beers and cider, networking, showing off, mildy offensive banter and bragging about your shiny and new high value knots and figures.

Saturday – brekkie in the Boys Club (if you’ve a yellow wristband) then off to warm up pubs for 10am. Main competition starts at 10:40 and finishes at 16:40 in the pubs on the Venues page. DERTy from 11:30 (warm ups at 11:00) until 14:30 and Traditional at 16:30, both at St George’s Bristol. The Showcase doors open at 18:00 to those with a blue wristband, online tickets/wristbands to be collected on the door and then it’s back to the Boys Club where the splendid Dennis has more beer and cider.

Sunday – later breakfast, winner’s workshop, teary goodbyes and a visit to a local hostelry.

What a way to spend a weekend!

We’ve both booked Monday off work, as we’re sure to be sad and lachrymose at the loss of our entire raison d’etre for the past year, as we hand over to Manchester’s jewel in the crown; Medlock Rapper, for DERT 2016. Back in the North.

3 days and counting till Bristol’s DERT 2015 welcome and registration. Car parking!

number_threeWe know, 3 more sleepless nights filled with “are we good enough?”, “will I remember my moves?” or “will my bowstring snap?”.

Or maybe you’re cool, calm and collected?

Either way, 3 sleeps to go until Bristol is breached by sword-wielding folk from the likes of Oxford, Hastings and Long Eaton (doesn’t sound at all like a middle class pursuit? ahem). Fear not, Thrales will be here and they’re used to the sound of gunfire. There’s also hardy folk from up North, no doubt used to coat-less Friday nights spent in the Bigg Market.

When arriving in Bristol on Friday please could teams come to the Broad Plain Boys Club and try to park there. If that’s full up then we have 12 spaces courtesy of a local business, and if they’re full up then it’s Cabot Circus car park.

But please do try and car share as much as possible! It will make our lives so much easier on Friday night.

The Boys Club will be open from late late afternoon, but we’d like to expect you around 6pm.

3 sleeps. Yikes.

The DERT lush volunteer t-shirts are now on their way. Check out what we’ll be wearing servicing most of your needs in Bristol.

There are some things we just won’t do; personal services, arse-wiping and doing your dancing for you. Most other things we’ll be happy to help you with or arrange for someone else to assist.

volunteer t-shirtThe list of people needing  a massive Big Up for stewarding and coordinating over the weekend are as follows;

  • Edwin and Martin (obviously, ahem)
  • Dave and Julia
  • Charlotte, Tom, Minnie, Jonathon, Jo and Hugh from Taff
  • Brett, Hayley and Molly
  • Matt and Beth, Ryan and Bernice
  • And last and sometimes least; Martyn from Shropshire Sharpshins (soz!)

You can see what they’re wearing, give ’em some love when you see them. They’re giving up their time for free to assist in the smooth running of your event. Well, they get a t-shirt and a breakfast or two, what more do they want?

A big thank you from DERT 2015 for our lovely volunteers!